The snow queen: That's not ME! It is the title of a chamber opera that I have been pondering about for quite some time now. At present, of the three acts the opera should consist of, I have finished approximately one half (details of orchestration etc. however are still open to revision). Perhaps, writing an opera is (especially in our times) the most demanding project a composer can embark upon. Not only is the composer required to summon up all his (or her) skills towards a synthesis, also the personality of the composer is mercilessly brought into the open; he/she cannot hide. Any opera has to portrait (for purely dramatic reasons) quite diverse characters, and not always is it easy for the composer to identify or empathize with them. But without understanding the psychology of the characters in play, it is impossible to create a good opera; that, at least, is my opinion. The greatness of Mozart's operas lies exactly there, in his ability to empathize with ALL his characters, withholding judgement. One can imagine that the heroic scoundrel Don Giovanni reflects quite a few of Mozart's own traits, making the work of the composer "easy" (if one wants to put it so). But in the same opera, there are three women of very diverse personalities, and Mozart admirably succeeds in doing justice to all of them. His psychological insight is not hampered by barriers of gender or moral.. So, back to my opera: As might be inferred, it is based on Andersen's fairy tale. Kai, the friend of the fairy tale's heroine Gerda, has been abducted by the snow queen. Gerda sets out for a long journey to rescue Kai, and succeeds after many difficulties and adventures, which of course contribute to the growth of our heroine. This is, put briefly, the content of Andersen's tale. Formerly, I found myself unable to identify with Gerda. This courageous girl, trying everything in order to help her sandbox friend. Somehow, I never could understand why one would walk one's leg off to search one's playmate who, besides, has joined the abductor voluntarily. So, there is Ms. Perfect, the ideal head girl Gerda, and on the other hand me, a loner at school time, who never ever could have been elected as class spokeswoman or the like. Instead, I cared for the school pets, because nobody else wanted to do that supposedly dirty job and because I liked the pets better than my classmates. But, on a second thought, why has Gerda to be Ms. Perfect after all? Why not imagine a somewhat odd girl? Well, I am reading now a lot about shamanism and related topics, and I found something about Gerda that Andersen doesn't tell you. I found out that the Snow Queen originally was not remotely the bedtime story we know, it was a shaman's tale, explaining quite explicitly what a shaman has to do to save a sick person's soul from the grasp of the dark spirits which are symbolized by the snow queen. The shaman, often female, was accompanied on her dream journey to the North Pole by a pair of crows, by a reindeer and by a fish: As Gerda is in Andersen's tale. And now, this shaman-girl Gerda of course is in no need to display the superficial strength of model pupils, because her strengths lie in a totally different terrain. Another hint, from another direction: By chance,I was introduced to the world of computer fantasy games. These games have developed beyond everything I had imagined before. Several of them follow the pattern of a quest, which is so wide-spread in folk lore: The hero sets out for a journey, still not knowing his aim, and only as time passes and the game proceeds, through moments of anxiety, fear, depression and despair, the hero finally discovers the meaning of the game that in disguise of adventures and a quest for outer reward invariably leads him back to the search of his (or her) own self. The motif of the spiritual quest links computer games (not all, to be sure, but some) to the shaman world. Gerda's journey will become something like this, I thought. In a time when all material goods seem to be easily available, young persons wonder what they are living for, what they really want to do with their lives. Perhaps, the whole life is a solitary quest for one's real self. It is in this spirit that I want to complete the opera (and may be, I started writing the snow queen out of a hunch that something of that kind lay behind Andersen's tale all the time, waiting to become realized?) Still, there remain some questions to be solved. I still don't see how the opera should end. Until Gerda discovers the palace of the snow queen, the story has become an interesting one for me, but how shall Gerda find Kay, how shall the two return? Gerda's hot tears melt Kay's frozen heart, the ice cubes are put together to form the word "Eternity" like in a kindergarten intelligence test, and they lived happily ever after??? And what will the snow queen do next? Is she looking for new victims? Does she practice for the coming Winter Olympics? A convincing answer being found, I believe that I can finish the Opera without too many difficulties. Nevertheless, I could use help in writing the libretto, and - finally - in bringing the whole thing to stage. 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